More response to Drag Queen story hour at Kincardine Library

To the Editor:
RE: “Writer objects to Drag Queen story hour at Kincardine Library”

I was disgusted to read Mrs. B.J.'s bigoted smut and astonished that the Kincardine Record chose to publish her twisted and defamatory words. 

Upon further thought, the publication of this letter provides us with an enlightening glimpse into the intolerance and ignorance that still pervades our communities.

All the more reason to support the library event and others like it so we can teach our children fact instead of fear.

Dave Snider
Kincardine
 

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To the Editor:

After reading some of the comments about this letter, I thought I would investigate further. I wish some of the other readers would have done so.

First off, Drag Queens are not “sexual deviants.” They are performers and this is their art. I did find a very interesting article by a trained psychologist and I think it is worth reading. He is responding to the very same sort of letters about the storytelling at his local library. Sorry, it’s long but to understand it you must read the whole article.

Karen Ballok
Inverhuron

Here is the article:

The outrage and fear these opposers demonstrate is unfounded and based largely on a hatred of non-conformity (and perhaps unacknowledged fears about their own sexuality). They are concerned that such events will confuse the children and even cause them to worry that they are the wrong gender.

We live in a society that only recognizes that children are cisgender, the belief that your gender identity must match with the gender you were assigned at birth. As a long-time sex and gender therapist, I know that there is no substance to the argument that exposing anyone, including children, to the reality of people with a different sexual orientation or gender identity, influences the children’s innate sexual orientation or gender identity.

Nonetheless, there is much fear about gay parents “impacting” their offspring, or how the behaviour of LGBTQ adults will influence them.

Ironically, when people think about children, rarely is their focus on how homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia can hurt them, and yet exposure to these institutional harms are far worse than anything a child might be exposed to in a LGBT Pride Parade, observing gay and lesbian relationships, or being read a story by a drag queen.

The real problem, as I see it, lies not in exposing children to the reality of diverse sexualities and gender identities—those who do not fit the typical definitions of masculinity or femininity—but rather not providing gender-non-conforming kids with other templates as they begin to sort out their feelings about who they authentically are. Data shows a far higher rate of suicide, 41 per cent, for transgender children than others. When they are made to feel like outsiders, bullied in school, and rejected by the society in which they live, they move into crisis.

The worst outcome to watching a drag queen tell a story is not influencing children to worry and wonder if they are the “wrong gender” as many want us to believe. The outcome that can occur watching a drag queen telling a story is that it can save the lives of those children who are struggling with gender non-conformity and free them to explore and express themselves in ways they were meant to be and not supposed to be.

Outrage over these Drag Queen story time sessions reveals other dark underbellies of our society—misogyny and homophobia. Think about it: If women dressed as men were reading the stories, there might be no problem. But men dressed as women? Such an assault on the nation’s ideal of masculinity is intolerable to many. 

Misogynist conditioning compromises people’s integrity by pressuring them to treat others badly—actions contrary to their basic humanity. Misogyny and homophobia combined with fear and revulsion of sex, eliminate discussions about the lives and sexuality of LGBT people as part of school-based sex education, keeping vital information from all students.

As studies confirm, it can be deadly. It inhibits their ability to form close, intimate relationships with members of their own sex, generally restricts communication with a significant portion of the population and, more specifically, limits family relationships. 

Costumes are playthings, flights of imagination that allow us to step out of the mundanity of our daily lives and into fantasy. They don’t entice us to become the characters in costume. Every day, thousands of children are delighted to visit Disneyland and meet characters dressed up as animals—Mickey or Goofy or Donald Duck. Do they leave wanting to become animals? Are they confused or just delighted at the unusual display?

In many cases, the stories being read introduce kids to the idea that all others, despite appearance or sexual orientation, are worthy of respect, and to a world that is not divided into “us” and “others.” Drag Queen story time provides an opportunity for parents to begin to have conversations with their kids about respecting other types of people and reassuring them that they will love their children however they choose to express themselves.

As one library patron in Lafayette said, “We need to learn how to recognize each other, how to see each other’s gifts and talents and flaws and how to meet each other. The story time that’s caused so much controversy is just an opportunity for kids—older kids, younger kids, almost babies—to see each other, to experience something they’ve never seen before and learn how to relate to it.”

I applaud the librarians who, for the most part, have stuck to their guns and refused to allow these popular programs to be shut down by those stuck in a past when there was only one view of what human beings were supposed to be.
 

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To the Editor:
RE: “Readers weigh in on Drag Queen story hour at Kincardine Library”

Rev. Lynda Janzen, I've read your letter over and over again.

I'm flummoxed about your choice of the verb "push" (while the push in our society is to be loving and inclusive). I've never realized before that when I assist an elderly neighbour, donate money or time to a charity or do the various good deeds that come naturally to me, I am actually having to "push" myself to do so.

Until you educated me, I did not understand that I had to push myself to act compassionately. I'm embarrassed to say, but I just thought it was human nature to be loving and inclusive. I didn't understand that some people have to "push" themselves to live a life of kindness and compassion. 

Children are indeed "our richest legacy." As I walk through this "godless world we are engineering for them," I experience my god throughout the day, in various and surprising ways. It's such a shame you feel you exist in a godless world.

As for my engineering skills, well, suffice it to say I have none. I'm unable to carve a pumpkin for Hallowe'en, let alone engineer a godless world. My goodness, there must be a hidden and dark agenda afoot that I know nothing about. Perhaps a secret society of engineers who meet every month to discuss their nefarious plans for the downfall of mankind. If this group knocks on my door and pleads with me to join its group, I will decline the pamphlet being shoved at me. No worries - I will be polite to the young child they will likely bring along.

I'm not well-educated in Human Sexuality and Childhood Development. No one needs to hear my uneducated views and personal opinions. There is enough of that in the world without me joining the fray! This is a subject best left to those who know what they're talking about.

I'm choosing to not "pray for the children," as you have urged us to do. That ship has sailed - my children are well and truly grown. When I did pray, I didn't pray for them. I was the one needing the guidance to raise them as loving, generous and open-minded people. The god I follow encouraged me to teach them compassion and kindness.

I have decided I will pray for the adults. After all, this is the segment of the population that seems determined to instill suspicion and a sense of superiority in the minds of children. My god has assured me the children will be just fine, if only we can encourage adults to embrace those who walk beside us, but take a different path.

I'm pretty sure you will want to pray for me, and you might even encourage your brethren to join you in your quest to save me from myself. It's nice of you to worry about me, but I'm confident that while I'm deeply flawed, I'm still salvageable. I'm relatively sure that my acceptance of all and sundry will get me through to where I'm meant to be.

Jennifer Allen
Belleville